he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
