I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So squirting runs in the family.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
