I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
