Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
