once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
