are you still at the devil's house?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
pray to the hookup gods
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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