Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
