Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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