woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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