ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
