she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
