I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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