i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
