If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
