he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
