I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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