well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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