Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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