A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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