It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
