Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
