OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
