Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
