i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
