dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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