just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
