Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
