I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
