Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The struggles of a small town man whore
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
