So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
