I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
as a side note pls kill me
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
