would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dear god my vagina.
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