Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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