I just gift wrapped bread.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
