at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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