dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
