dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
