i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
