is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
