I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
