Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
