been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
