I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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