So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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