Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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