problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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