Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
