im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
