Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
