You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
